FADE IN:
23 EXT. SPACE - VOYAGER (OPTICAL) 23
Warp speed, with 3 alien spaceships following alongside.
24 INT: HOLODECK; EMPTY 24
Doctor is sitting on floor, in corner, looking melancholy. Paris enters, carrying a data-pad.
DOCTOR
(melancholy, indolent) Good morning, Mister Paris. It's a little early for you to be up and about, isn't it?
PARIS
Computer, initiate program Paris-12, Password 1923FH.
DOCTOR
(disinterested, sarcastic) Where to today, Ensign? The south of France? Some tropic isle? The pleasure domes of Risa?
A Klingon temple room scene appears, torches blazing. Elderly Klingon priest snoozes on a throne. Paris clears his throat to wake him.
KLINGON
(awakens, gruffly) Ah, it is you again. The human man-child who covets the troubled half-Klingon, B'ellana. I remember you. You came to me once, seeking advice on how to court her. I warned you then, boy, that the Klingon heart was a prize festooned with thorns. But I see you did not heed my words. You have already impaled yourself upon her quills. I can see the wounds in your soul. You wear them as manifest as you would lacerations of the flesh.
PARIS
(places data-pad on nearby table) I beg your forgiveness, Master {Klingon name}, that I did not distance myself from her as you advised. I couldn't help it. I love B'ellana. And I know she loves me.
KLINGON
(looks away, gives dismissive wave) Bah! The storybook blather of humans. If, as you say, you truly love each other so, then all should be well between you, yes? What need have you of my counsel? You ignored my guidance once. Why seek you it again?
PARIS
Well, you see, we've been having some problems. B'ellana and I. Lately. Communicating, I suppose. I try to share with her so much of me. I tell her everything I do. Everything I think about. My desires. My dreams. But she doesn't reciprocate. At least, not as much as I hope. She hides a lot of herself from me. She won't talk much about her feelings. She keeps them bottled up inside her. She won't open up to me, no matter what I do. No matter what I say. It has me worried.
KLINGON
I think it is you that are having problems, human. She loves you more than you understand. That much is obvious, even to someone as antiquated as I.
PARIS
That she won't talk to me means she loves me more than I understand? I don't get it. That doesn't make sense.
KLINGON
(terse) Of course not! Why should it make sense! To a human! Your people have a grievous habit of seeing other races in the light you shine upon them. Look at me, Terran. What do you see? What do you really know of my people? Of B'ellana's people?
PARIS
Oh, I don't know. Some things I learned in Starfleet training. A few insights B'ellana shared with me. I know you guys don't like to talk about yourselves much. You prefer the strong, silent image. Well, except when you've gotten into the blood-wine. then you're a little more talkative. You're big on honor and discipline. and then I guess there's that whole, ummm, anger thing too.
KLINGON
(stands, furious) Anger thing?! {barks a Klingon expletive} Your words are a kite in a storm, human! My people are angry like these flames are tepid! (clutches nearby torch with bare hand, extinguishing it, then hurls smoldering stick at Paris' feet) For a thousand years have my people sought their fortunes in blood. We have conquered races and worlds you don't even know existed. Like hell-borne wraiths we swept out from Kronos and plundered the galaxy, driving softer cultures before us like chaff upon the wind! And why do we do this? Why do we not settle and turn soil like the peace-lovers we slaughter? Because of the rage! The Klingon heart embodies a fury unlike any you can possibly imagine. It burns inside us like a furnace and we must loose it upon others, least we turn it upon ourselves. This is what the woman keeps from you, human! This is what she conceals from your frail eyes and your coxcomb ears. Trust me, it cannot be easy for her. (pauses for a beat, then calmer and with mocking tone) Tell me, man-boy, she loves you roughly, yes? Her passion bruises your tender flesh, does it not? Believe me, if she wasn't holding back, you would not be standing here before me now. She loves you, human. Enough to deny herself the true extent of her passions. I can think of no greater gift she could give, and I see no-one here worthy of it. Yet you stand before me now, seeking advice on how to wrest more from her. (turns away) I have none to give.
PARIS
I... I don't know what to say.
KLINGON
(turning back) That is evident! Go, human, and ponder my words. Go! Go romance your Klingon woman. Whisper your gentle words in her primal ear. Give her roses, and pray she doesn't gnaw the bramble. It might leave blood-stained kisses on that pretty face of yours. Be gone now! My ire grows with each passing moment you stand before me, and you are too simple a target for even a fossil like me.
PARIS
Okay, okay! I get the hint! Thanks for the advice. Computer, end program. Let's do this again, real soon.
Everything vanishes but Paris and Doctor.
PARIS
When Stova-Kor freezes over! Jeez, the things we do for love. That was really just too intense before breakfast. Man, do I need some coffee.
Paris exits. Doctor walks toward control panel, but notices something on floor. Looks down and sees the data-pad, which Paris had accidentally left behind. The Doctor kneels down beside it.
DOCTOR
(to self) Hmmm, Mister Paris is sure to come back for this. (out loud) Computer, I know I can't transfer myself out of the holodeck, but could I transfer myself to something inside the holodeck? For example, this data-pad?
COMPUTER
Negative. Data-pad possesses insufficient capacity to hold program.
DOCTOR
Okay, but if I could get something in here that did have enough capacity, could I transfer my program to it?
COMPUTER
Affirmative.
DOCTOR
Excellent! Now we're making progress! I just have to lure something in here that will hold all my gigabits, that's all! Now what could that be? hmmmm.
Doctor's arm suddenly fizzles and fades for second, then comes back.
DOCTOR
(worried) Oh-oh. That can't be good.
25 INT: BRIDGE 25
TORRES working at control panel. Seven enters, approaches Torres.
TORRES
Morning. Regenerate well?
SEVEN
Good morning. Yes, thank you. (watches Torres tap console) Have you made any further progress with the Doctor?
TORRES
(yawns) A little. I stabilized him enough by 0200 hours so that I could get a few winks of shut eye. Thanks for your help last night. I wouldn't have gotten any sleep at all without it.
SEVEN
You are welcome. What is the Doctor's current status?
TORRES
Not great. I'm afraid he's starting to unravel again. If I can't corral all his sub-routines within the next few hours, we're going to have to shut him down manually, or risk losing him completely. (yawns again)
SEVEN
May I be of further assistance?
TORRES
Well, some of his corporeal pattern controls have started to break up. I'm kind of busy holding together his neuralgic functions. Maybe you can see if you can keep his body in one piece.
SEVEN
Understood. (begins typing at panel, sees Torres yawn again) It would appear your winks were insufficient.
TORRES
Yeah, well, Tom was in the mood to talk again last night. What is it with men these days, anyway? All they want to do is share their feelings all the time.
SEVEN
(somewhat smugly) Interpersonal relationships consume time and energy disproportionate to their return. I have found it better to avoid them.
TORRES
Well, I'm not saying it's all bad. Tom has his moments. You should at least try an interpersonal relationship before you give up on them completely.
SEVEN
Unnecessary. I have already determined through observation that such diversions lead to inefficiencies. Of the couples I have observed, all have shown a decline in productivity subsequent to commencing the relationship.
TORRES
(stops working, defensive) So what are you saying? That Tom and I have been slacking off since we've been seeing each other?
SEVEN
I cannot quantify the term slacking off, however your performance factor has declined by point three percent since the initiation of your relationship with Ensign Paris.
TORRES
(angry) Look, Seven, it's really getting old the way you're always finding fault with everyone. Even if those numbers of yours are correct, there could be lots of other explanations.
SEVEN
(dispassionate) I have adjusted for all reasonable variables.
TORRES
(angrier) Fine! You want to make your little studies of productivity, that's great. Just keep them to yourself, okay?
SEVEN
As you wish. I desire only to get Voyager's crew as efficient as possible.
TORRES
(snapping angrily) Seven, the only thing you need to get is...
Kim enters via turbo-lift.
KIM
Ladies. How's my favorite Borg and Klingon this morning?
TORRES
(calms a bit) Why, some of us are fine, Harry. (glares at Seven) And as I was just saying, others of us need to get a life. Do me a favor, Harry, watch the Doc for a couple of minutes, will ya? I'm gonna go get some coffee and see if I can't lower the ol' productivity rating another point or two.
Torres exits to turbo-lift.
KIM
(confused, to Seven) What? What'd I say? What just happened?
SEVEN
(slightly miffed) I believe Lieutenant Torres was sharing her feelings.
26 INT: HOLODECK; EMPTY 26
Doctor is working at control panel.
DOCTOR
(to self) There must be some way I can get something in here that I can download myself to. Think, man, think!
Doors open and Janeway, Pleetos, Arginess and 2 other Okreepons enter. Janeway carries a data-pad.
JANEWAY
And this is our holodeck. (jocular) Chakotay and Neelix tell me this is the one technology in which we've got you beat, so I've saved it for last!
DOCTOR
Well, well. These must be our new friends that everyone's talking about. Hi, I'm the ship's doctor. I'd shake your hand, but that muscle-bound scanner of yours has banished me to never-never land. You'll have to settle for my caustic commentary.
PLEETOS
(looking around) Impressive, Captain. Yes, your people have been describing this to us and we've been looking forward to seeing it.
ARGINESS
What will you show us, Captain?
JANEWAY
Well you've impressed us with beautiful images of your world. I thought I'd return the favor and show you some images of our modest planet, Earth.
PLEETOS
Wonderful, Captain! We are eager. Please proceed.
JANEWAY
Certainly. This is a program that our good Doctor, who you haven't met yet due to technical problems, put together for us several months ago. No-one really asked him to, but... well, he enjoys putting together these sort of exhibitions and then subjecting us, err, I mean, exposing us, to them. Anyway, without him here to provide his usual, ummmm... in-depth narration, we might get through this by dinner time. Computer, run program Doctor 42. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the Grand Canyon.
DOCTOR
(offended) Humph! Fine, see if I make anymore efforts to expand your minds!
Scene changes to vista of Grand Canyon. As soon as it does, the appearance of the 4 Okreepons change from humanoids to grotesque aliens. Doctor stumbles back, horrified. Janeway keeps talking, not seeing any change. While Janeway speaks, the Doctor tries to get her attention by waving his hands in front of her face, and even through her body, but to no avail.
JANEWAY
It's a vast gorge cut in the Earth's crust by a river over eons of time. It's 217 miles long, it varies in width between 4 and 18 miles, and it's over a mile deep in some places. (one of the aliens makes horrid croaking noises) Oh yes, Agriness, I agree. No-one can look upon this without feeling some sense of awe. (another alien sounds off) I assure you Pleetos, these colors have not been retouched. You're looking at the canyon as it appears shortly after sunrise, but as the day progresses you'll find that the colors shift beautifully with the passing sun. Here, I think I can move this image ahead a few hours and you'll be able to see for yourselves.(fiddles with data-pad)
TUVOK's com VOICE
Tuvok to Captain Janeway.
JANEWAY
Janeway here. Go Tuvok.
TUVOK's com VOICE
Captain, I apologize for interrupting you and your guests, however I have Commander Chakotay on the com and he has requested to speak with you immediately.
JANEWAY
That's all right, Tuvok. Patch it down here to the holodeck. (to aliens) I hope you don't mind, this should only take a moment. Computer, end program.
Grand Canyon vanishes. Aliens revert back to humanoid appearance.
PLEETOS
Not at all. We like the Commander.
JANEWAY
Go ahead Tuvok, put Chakotay through.
Large image of Chakotay's face appears in front of group. Doctor leaps back in terror as he sees it, but Janeway and the Okreepons do not react. During following dialog, image of Chakotay's face alternates between what Janeway sees, and what Doctor sees. To Janeway, Chakotay looks normal. To the Doctor, Chakotay looks drugged. He is covered and pierced with tubes, wires and gadgets, somewhat Borg-like. Chakotay speaks the same words in both images, but to the Doctor, he is obviously being forced to say the words.
CHAKOTAY
Captain, I apologize for the interruption.
JANEWAY
No problem at all, Commander. How are things over there?
CHAKOTAY
It's still wonderful over here, Captain. These people are the most wonderful, warm and friendly race I've ever encountered.
Pleetos
(false modesty) Oh Captain, the Commander is much too generous with his words.
DOCTOR
Yes, MUCH too generous! Captain, listen to me! You have to get Chakotay off that ship!
JANEWAY
I can't say I disagree, Chakotay. Is Mister Neelix there with you?
DOCTOR
Neelix is over there, too?!
CHAKOTAY
You bet Captain, he's right here.
Neelix comes into view. Same double image effect as Chakotay.
NEELIX
Hi Captain! Thanks for sending me over here. I'm having the time of my life!
JANEWAY
I take it you agree with the Commander's assessment of our hosts.
NEELIX
Oh, yes Ma'am! I once fancied myself a pretty good host, but I tell you, I've got a lot to learn from these people! You should taste their food! It's... It's... Oh, I can't even begin to describe it!
DOCTOR
I'll bet you can't!
JANEWAY
Well, I certainly look forward to trying it. So what did you need to talk about?
CHAKOTAY
Oh yes, our Okreepon hosts have just been informed by their government that an entire fleet of ships has been dispatched to escort us on the last leg of our journey to their home world. Their version of an honor guard, it would seem. Since Captain Pleetos wasn't here, I thought I'd call and tell you myself. They'll be intercepting us in about 2 hours. I just wanted to make sure their arrival wouldn't startle you.
JANEWAY
Okay, good. That's very nice of them, though it is entirely unnecessary. Make sure you extend our gratitude. Thanks for letting me know. Please report back when they arrive.
CHAKOTAY
Will do Captain! Chakotay out.
Image of Chakotay and Neelix vanish.
PLEETOS
I hope you don't mind, Captain. I had requested the escort myself.
JANEWAY
Well, thank you Pleetos, but again it was entirely unnecessary. Anyway, shall we return to our slide show?
Arginess
(false eagerness) Oh yes Captain, please!
DOCTOR
I'd really rather you didn't. The lighting doesn't bring out their best features.
JANEWAY
Let's see. (fiddles with data-pad) If I recall, we hadn't even gotten out of the Grand Canyon yet.
DOCTOR
(backing away from group, frustrated) Captain, don't you see? We have to get Chakotay and Neelix off that ship! We have to change course before that alien fleet intercepts us! Can't anyone see this but me? How can I get anyone to listen!
OFF the Doctor's dismayed expression...
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT four